Photo Blog

In my blog post 'Older Siblings' I posted 2 photos. I now know how to put pictures into my blog! This probably will not happen often, since this is a writing blog, but I see no harm in having just one photo full blog. So this blog is a picture dedication to past events.

Safari Night: Safari Nigh is a night where we take every ficus we can get our hands on and convert my condo into a small jungle. There is an open fire BBQ, a jungle movie, and finally hunting hundreds of balloon animals in our fake mini jungle.







Zombie Walk: Every year around Halloween, Las Vegas hosts a zombie walk. Thousands f people dress up as zombies, meet up at the Luxor at 7:00pm and have a zombie procession from the Luxor to Fremont Street.




Swipe Uses: Freshman at UNLV are required to have a campus meal plan, where they have an allotment of dining dollars (to eat anywhere on campus) and a number of free swipes into the school dining commons. Many freshman over purchase on their meal plans. We have come up with a solution to this problem; get everyone we know together at the end of semester and have a dinner party to use your friend's swipes.



Strip Trips: Every once in awhile you find that one strange person who has never been to the Las Vegas Strip. This must be remedied!! And being a native Las Vegan, I am the person to fix this. Take 'em out for a (clean) night on the town.









Killing off friends: In addition to killing my friends for zombie night, there are certain projects that also require my friends' deaths. These are from a project on Hamlet I had to do. I asked my friends to come over to play the characters and we played out the death scenes of the Hamlet characters.





So yeah, that's what happens around here. There will probably be more dedications to the past. This was fun. Going through all my albums and looking at the fun times with all my friends. Great times guys!

Communication Error

For being a person obsessed with words and language, I have no idea how to effectively communicate. I fail to express my thoughts and ideas clearly when speaking. I can not describe things in detail to another person and have them get the same picture, I have to construct my facial expressions in my head before displaying them on my face to give people the right emotion, forget it if you want me to show or connect with certain emotions, and I have no understanding of how to balance things in my life.
Recently, I have encountered many problems with my communication. The biggest one is that I do not do it. And I admit, I have been ignoring people lately. I want everyone to understand that I am not doing this on purpose. My roommates feel like I am abandoning them because I am never home. I am sorry guys, that is not it at all. I have one friend who thinks I have left him and only want him around when it is convenient for me. This is not the case either. The problem is I can not balance things out. I get focused on other things, mostly on projects that I am doing.
Many of my friends know that when I am focused on something you can not divert my focus. It happens when I am reading a book and no one can get my attention, it happens when I am typing a paper and do not see anything pass my computer screen, and it happens when there is a big project or stress in my life because all my attention goes to that project or obsession.
Ok, so now I recognize the problem and have dug myself into a pretty deep hole. What do I do to fix it?
I am not exactly sure. First of all I feel I need to apologize. I am truly sorry that I have not been there for you and that you feel ignored. I want you in my life more than you will probably ever know, and definitely more than I can express with any of the words I cherish so much. I am working on getting better at communication and expression. Next I know I have to prove myself. Its my turn to put out the effort and prove that I do want you around no matter what. I am not sure how I am going to do that yet. But I hope that you will allow me to try and to please forgive me for my offense.
I love you dearly and I am willing to do anything to try and make you happy. I do want you in my life and I want to be a part of yours. I am so sorry I don't know how to express that to you. Please help and forgive me.

Valentine's Day Memories

Every year on Valentines Day, I would wake up to find a rose and a balloon in my bedroom from my father. My brothers and sister would wake to find the same, and then my sister and I would run to look at all the roses that he had gotten my mother. The roses would be different every year, barely ever being the standard 12 red that everyone gets. I love seeing those roses and can not wait to hear about them when I call my mom on Valentine's Day tomorrow. Yes, my dad still does it. And even now that I'm all grown up, when tomorrow dawns (Valentine's Day), I will miss not having a rose and balloon from my dad.
My dad wasn't always so smooth on V-day. Oh no! His first Valentine's Day with my mom he showed up with a heart shaped box of cheap chocolate, you know the kind you find everywhere on Valentine's Day (not that they can't be fun sometimes, and I like them). Mom is a chocolatier, a chocolate snob. Mom ended up writing what came to be known as "The Chocolate Bible" and she made one travel sized to go in my dad's wallet. After that, he gave a lot more thought to his Valentine's gifts and went with his new knowledge about finer chocolate and my mom's favorite flower, the rose.
When I came along, I was my daddy's little Valentine. I got a single rose (the first one was just like my mommy's) and a balloon. I received the same up until I moved out and I got to see my mom's dozen beautiful roses.
Good memories.
Valentine's Day changed a lot as I grew up. I've had bunches of heart shaped boxes full of chocolate, flowers, and boys a-plenty (usually odd-balls) vying to be my Valentine. But every year my single rose and balloon would be the first thing I'd see. From my first ever Valentine; my dad.

Family Ties

What makes an older sibling?

Meet Ryan Efros
and Melissa Hellewell
my older siblings.
Ok, not biologically. Technically, I am the oldest of four in the Carilli Family. But over the years my family and I have adopted and been adopted by certain people as family members, forming the Carilli Clan.
These non-blood relatives are as much my family as my blood relations. Some I consider closer than blood. They are often referred to as my 'other' or 'extra' family, but there is nothing extra about them. They are my family. In 21 years of gathering The Clan, I have only had two 'older siblings'.
In the dynamic of The Clan (or 'other family') actual age is not a factor. Being older does not make you an older sibling. Many of my 'other' siblings are older than me, but I still play the role of the older sibling. Your role in The Clan is governed mostly by personality and mind sets. I am just cast as the older sister, and I don't have a problem with that. It is just the way it is.
Being the oldest of four, I've never really wanted an older sibling. Not for any real reason, but because I am the oldest and there isn't anything I can do about it. That ship has simply sailed. But now I have two, Ryan and Melissa.
Ryan and I met just after I moved out of my parent's house. I was fine, a little alone and by myself, but I was doing alright. Ryan was my hometeacher from church and kept worming his way into my life. Really I wasn't excited about having a stranger from church in my life and battled against him. Ryan really worked hard to pull me out of my house and introduced me to everyone he knew. He included me and eventually I was thankful. Over time and through (what seemed like at the time) disasters, we became close friends and from there we started referring to each other as brother and sister. Ryan has helped guide me through some tough times, and has supported me in the good things and has called me out when I know I'm messing up. We've had our spats and disagreements, we've been on adventures, and had some great (interesting) times. Despite sometimes not seeing eye to eye on occasion, I know if I ever needed Ryan he would be there for me and I will be there for him if he needs me (probably not going to happen now that he has a wonderful wife but still I'm there). That is what family does. I know I needed to have Ryan as an older brother and to take a turn as a younger sibling. Without him the past 3 years would have been much harder.
Melissa and I also met in my ward, but we didn't start talking until after she pulled me into her group at a dance we both attended. She rescued me from a gentleman of questionable character who wanted to dance with me. WE hung out after that a couple of times and I invited her to Sunday dinner at my parent's house. She fit right in with the family. After that she was my sister and one of my mother's 'extra' daughters. I know I can tell Melissa anything without her judging me, but also know that she'll let me know what she thinks about my actions. I value her opinion and advice (even when I don't want to face facts or hear I'm doing wrong). It was really difficult for me when she found out she would be moving away to another state. But now I know that even though we are out of reach, it doesn't mean we have to be out of touch. My family and I have visited her at her new home, and it makes us all happy when she sets aside time to come home when she is in town.
These are my older siblings. I think what makes them 'older siblings' in the dynamic of The Clan, is that I respect them and look up to them. Maybe that is all it takes to be a true 'older sibling'. What ever it is I'm glad to have them both as part of my family, and to take my turn as a younger sister. Although, I hope to not have too many older siblings as the Carilli Clan continues to grow with new brothers, sisters, parents, and even grandparents. Two is enough.
Love you guys!

Ps. I would also like to shout out to more of those who make up my family and The Clan. To my sisters: Jasmine, Susie, Amanda, Kylee, Laurel, and my twin Maggie. To my brothers: John, Anthony, Mick, Chuck, and Chris. To my parents: Janet, Jhon (yes it is spelled right, that is my dad), Dennis, Toni, Dedee, Lana, Alan, and Margret. To my aunts and uncles: Scott, Connie, Mike, and Coral. And to my grandparents: Grandpa Kerr, Grandma Caroline, and Grandpa Bill. I love you all so much and are happy to call you family!

CDO: OCD Like it SHOULD be.

For those who know me, you know I have organizational tendencies. Some may even go so far as claiming I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I am here today to dispel these beliefs!
Just because a person enjoys going into a room that is an absolute disaster (like the Institute storeroom (in which I went on an epic adventure to discover the carpet last semester), or they feel the need to have a spice cupboard in alphabetical order, does not mean they are overly and obsessively organized. It just means I like things tidy and where I can find them. I like to look at a cupboard or room and see everything in it. And by putting together closets and kitchen cupboards now everyone else can find things too.
Yesterday I set about cleaning the kitchen cupboards at the Las Vegas Institute. I have to work there so I might as well know what is in there. Many people came in and gave me funny looks, lots of people asked what I was doing, and all of my friends who saw me came in to laugh. I was told by chuckling people that the spices don't NEED to alphabetized, the laughing stopped when they saw that's exactly what I was doing. But now I know what I have to cook with. And everything is clean and easy to locate. Each shelf also has an alphabetized list of everything on it, just in case anyone has a question of what is in there where to put things away.
This is not over organization or the workings of an OCD person. It is art! It is creating perfectly linear, alphabetized, ascetically pleasing beauty. Nothing is as beautiful and comforting as knowing where something you need is.
These are not the workings of a crazy OCD lady. This is the work of an artist! Yes I am an artist! And every cupboard, drawer, and shelf is my canvas!
P.S. For those who still hold the belief I am OCD, I believe I have proved the point. :P

Penny In The Kitchen

Last week I was given a new responsibility. I am now Friday Lunch Committee Chair for the Las Vegas, Nevada LDS Institute. So every Friday my job is to prepare lunch for 110 or so people.
I just survived my first Friday Lunch.
I focused all week on preparing. I went through all the cupboards, seeing what I had to use because we're trying to not store food. I found a ton of rice. So I decided to make sweet and sour meatballs over rice. It wasn't until later I realized I'd need a side dish to go with it, so I added an Asian styled salad with mandarin-vinegarette dressing. For all of you who were eating at Friday Forum here is a secret: I have never made either of these dishes before. Really. I have no idea what I was thinking! When cooking for a lot of people you usually want to make something easy that you've done before and know people will like. Not me. I decided to go a more stressful route. I cook often, have helped at Friday Lunch for years, know what works, and on my first chance I risk completely blowing it by doing something I've never tried, and that hasn't been made for Friday Lunch before. Not the smartest of moves.
So Friday I was nervous. I'm amazed I wasn't in full panic mode. I arrived at the Institute at 9:00am. Overkill. I wanted to have a committee meeting at 10:30am (having called all my volunteers and asking them to come to the meeting), so I prepared and waited for my committee to show up. No one did. At least not until about 11:00-11:30, where I grabbed people from the halls, bullied them into signing up specifically for my committee. Then it got moving. Tables and chairs went up (slower than I'd like because boys like to goof off and get distracted) and the cooking began.
Kitchen disasters: 1)All the large pots in the institute kitchen will scorch because of the electric stove. This makes it incredibly difficult when making large amounts of pasta and RICE!! So the use of 3 small pots that are SUPPOSED to be used on electric stoves replaced the big pot, making things messier, more difficult, and led to a gross burning smell throughout the building. 2) 650 meatballs will not fit into a single slow roaster and even if they do, they will not heat up in 1/2 an hour. Lesson learned. Fix: take the roasting pan out of the roaster, throw it in the oven, and pray that no one will get a cold meatball. IT worked. Thank heavens! 3) Not having a kitchen that is stocked the way you wanted. Needed vinegar, rummaged through the whole kitchen, found 3 different types of vinegar and played chemist to get the flavor I wanted.
Once everything was on the table things were fine. Ok lie. When everything was on the table and people were going through the line, things were fine. The worst part was waiting between putting everything on the table and waiting for the class to get out and start eating. That quiet between storms is nerve racking. IT gives you just enough time to think about everything that could go wrong and there is no longer time to fix it. I can fix anything as long as I have enough time.
My mind was put to rest when everyone started to line up and eat. It brought me back to the moment and gave me something to focus on.
Everything after that went well. People enjoyed the food, most liked how it was different, there were very few leftovers, and clean up was quick. I ran around and told people what I needed to be done. I found that if you ask it will happen. I wish I would have asked more last semester.
I think my first experience went well. There are many more to come. Hopefully they'll be just as smooth or even smoother.